Don’t Worry Be Happy

22 09 2012

I’m sitting in my dorm room right now and the sun is shining outside. The wind is blowing and the branches seem to sway to the beat of the music that I’m listen to at the moment. I’m not really sure why but I’m really happy today. Not like a crazy happy but a calming happy. Maybe it’s just the music (since I’m listening to “Don’t Worry Be Happy” by Bob Marley”) but I think it’s more than that. 

I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on a couple of things these past couple of things. First of all Brad and Abby aren’t on good terms. Abby texted me yesterday, complaining about how Brad hasn’t texted her in DAYS. As I watched text message after text message appear on my phone, all complaining about him, I wasn’t bitter any more. In fact, I’d probably go as far to say I didn’t really care.

Not that I don’t love Abby but I think I have better things to do with my time. Sure I’ll listen to her rant but I’m not going to spend any more time thinking about how I might’ve been better with Brad or how I hate them both for getting the job I wanted. I just realised one morning that I’m about three thousand miles from where they are and it doesn’t matter what I do, I can’t go back in time to change the past. So it doesn’t really matter any more.

Another thing that I seem to have cleared up is how unhappy I must’ve been before I came to university. In high school, I thought I was happy but I realise now that I was just dealing with the things I had to deal with. I wasn’t really happy until I came here and realised just what real happiness is. People here are genuine. In high school, everyone was labelled as one thing and you were forever known as that one thing. Even if I had gone to university in my home-town I would still be known as that one thing because it would just be the same people around me. Here though, I got a chance to start over. To be someone that I thought I had lost for a long time. To be just me. 

And the people here accepted that without question.

For instance it’s the weekend and a lot of people go home on my floor. Yesterday, there were a few who went home and we all went to say goodbye to them. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought they weren’t ever coming back. Even though they were just going to be gone for a few days, there were hugs all around and “get home safely” wishes. In that moment, I realised just how close I was with these people and just how much they love me even though we’ve only known each other for a few weeks. I never had that feeling in high school.

So the group of us who were left decided to go out to dinner. Along the way, we laughed and chatted and the 2km walk seemed to pass in an instant. We ate and laughed about how long the food took to get to us. We took pictures and watched as one of our friends ate a red hot pepper. Needless to say we had a great time and I smiled through the night. I didn’t realise this thought till my roommate and I were back in our room and I was still smiling like a crazy person.  

Do I miss my home-town? Sure I do. My parents and siblings and family are all back there and I miss them like crazy sometimes. Do I wish that I went to university at my home-town? At first I did because it felt like I was missing out on so much. But then I came here and now I have a new family. One that loves me for me and wants nothing more than for me to have a great time.  

So I guess the motto for today is “Don’t Worry Be Happy”. Because if there’s anything that I learned over these couple of weeks, it’s that we all deserve to be happy. And the way we find that happiness? Just stop looking for it and it’ll come!        

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Roller Coaster

5 09 2012

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It’s been a crazy roller coaster ride of a couple of days. The residence I’m staying in at my university is absolutely beautiful! It’s got these crazy skinny squirrels and a couple of animals that I haven’t been able to identify yet. I’m sitting in the air-conditioned cafeteria right now by the window and I’m looking around at the people who I’m going to be living with and eating with for the next eight months. It’s incredible actually. There are so many people here it feels like you’re in a different school every day!

University life is quite the change from high school life for me. Back in my home town, I had my parents, my siblings, and my whole family supporting me. Here, I have to support myself and it already feels like I’ve been away from home for a month. The freedom is incredible, but along with it come the loneliness of being absolutely and completely by yourself. Sure you have other people around you but not even your best friend compares to those who are related by blood and genetically programmed to love you.

I haven’t had a room mate since…well…for a long time. And it is actually really cool! There’s someone at night that I can talk to, someone who I can get breakfast with and who will listen to my endless ramblings about my home town. I have actually been emailing her since the beginning of the summer so by the time I got here, I knew a lot about her already. Her parents even invited me over for Thanksgiving (since she doesn’t live too far from the school). She’s super nice and I think I’ll call her Candy. Because she’s nice and sweet like candy.

Oh…and an update on Brad and Abby (If you haven’t noticed already, I’m just going by the alphabet for the names of the people in my life. It’s not their actual names because I’m not going to ever use their real names in case any of them decide to read this).

Brad and Abby are dating (unofficially) now. He asked her out, she said yes, they went out and had a great time, and he told her he really like her and had started to like her since they started to work together. That’s the just of it anyways. I got more details (which I really REALLY didn’t need). I didn’t have the heart to tell Abby (who is still my best friend in the whole entire world) that I really liked Brad and had hoped he would ask me out. If I had told Abby, she would’ve never dated him and we would be three miserable people instead of one. So I will take this secret with me to the grave and offer to plan their wedding (which I actually did).

Anyways Brad is just a guy. Sure he was cute and smart and we really connected but I’m sure that out of the thousands of first-year students here at my university, I’ll find one who will be better than him. Looking around right now, I already see a few 😉





A Whole Bunch of Nothings

28 08 2012

I’m still not very sure why I’m writing this blog when I have absolutely no idea if anyone will be reading this at all. But I am…and I hope someone somewhere in this word takes the time to skim through what I have dubbed as my new life blog.

It’s more like an online diary where I can rant about all the things I hate about my life….but life blog sounds better 🙂

So today my bestie and I were texting and she (let’s just call her Abby) tells me that this guy (who we will name Brad) came by her house, gave her something and then asked her out. I should be happy right?

Well not exactly.

See Abby and I both know this guy. We met him at a group interview for a job…a job which Brad and Abby eventually both got. I did not get this so called job (but I am perfectly cool with it…sorta). During the interview, this guy and I really sparked. You know? Hit it off? But when Abby got the job, she and this guy grew really close (because they worked together every single freaking day) and now he’s asking her out. And he went all the way over to her house to do it.

And I’m suppose to be happy right?

Well…I’m not sure if this is the right feeling but it’s something along the border of happiness, envy, and jealousy. I can’t help but think that maybe if I had gotten the job then would I be the one being asked out?

Well probably not…but you get the idea right?

After that, the summer didn’t go so well for me. Basically…nothing happened. No job. No boyfriend. No money. No vacations. Nothing. Nada. Nil.

And now, it’s officially 59 hours and 25 minutes till I leave the city that I grew up in and move to a complete different city on the other side of the country to attend university where I’ll ba a billion miles from my family. And I have packed nothing.

So how was your summer? Because mine was basically a whole bunch of nothings.